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Saturday, November 01, 2008

Funny spam, Spammy fun

Visited Vadim Makarov’s site. On one of his pages, he has listed out some of the more creative and hilarious spam he has received so far.

This one is my pick.

Subject: The Invisible Killer!
From: DHMO
Sent: 9. juni 1999 02:29
The Invisible Killer

Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death.

Dihydrogen monoxide:
is also known as hydroxl acid, and is the major component of acid rain.
contributes to the "greenhouse effect."
may cause severe burns.
contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.
Contamination Is Reaching Epidemic Proportions!

Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream, lake, and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is global, and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. DHMO has caused millions of dollars of property damage in the US.

Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:
as an industrial solvent and coolant.
in nuclear power plants.
in the production of styrofoam.
as a fire retardant.
in many forms of cruel animal research.
in the distribution of pesticides. Even after washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical.
as an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products.
Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be done to stop them because this practice is still legal. The impact on wildlife is extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any longer!

The American government has refused to ban the production, distribution, or use of this damaging chemical due to its "importance to the economic health of this nation." In fact, the navy and other military organizations are conducting experiments with DHMO, and designing multi-billion dollar devices to control and utilize it during warfare situations. Hundreds of military research facilities receive tons of it through a highly sophisticated underground distribution network. Many store large quantities for later use.

The Horror Must Be Stopped!

Act NOW to prevent further contamination. Find out more about this dangerous chemical. What you don't know can hurt you and others throughout the world.

Please Send $3.00, or whatever amount you wish to:

~address removed by me (just in case....)~

Please include your email address for fastest response!

Under Bill S.1618 TITLE III passed by the 105th U.S. Congress this letter can not be considered spam as long as we offer you a no-cost way to remove your name and email from our listserver address book.

To be removed from this listserver address book, please email remove@dhmo.org and we'll promptly honor your remove request.

If you haven’t yet figured it out yet (OMFG WTF R U!!??) - Dihydrogen (H2) Monoxide (O) is Water (H2O)

Apparently this chain mail was pretty widespread till a few years back and spread very rapidly evoking widespread reactions from people. You can read about the other hilarious spam messages he receives here.

Godpeed